So Britt recently had a very unfashionable day and I’m pretty much totally to blame. He walked in from work after a full day as an electrician and I ask him, “Is that what you wore today???”
He’s like, “Ya, I met with clients.”
Met with clients??? Oh my god. “What??” He asks me.
I stared at him. How do I explain everything that’s gone wrong with his outfit. I decided I should start with an apology.
“Britty, um, when I did the laundry last week I put your jacket in the dryer, I didn’t know it would shrink. I’m so sorry.”
Britt looked down at his jacket that looked like a teenaged girl’s long sleeved crop top, hitting him in the lower rib area leaving his t-shirt blousing out from underneath.
“I thought it was tight.” He put his arms up pretending to put in some lights. The jacket crept up to his mid torso. He glanced in the mirror while doing it. “Geez, my clients must have thought I was crazy.”
He put his glasses on to take a closer look. They were the cheap reading glasses that I had bought him for Christmas. They were on sale, buy one get two more free. There wasn’t a big selection so I just picked a few that weren’t purple or rainbow striped. I guess I’m the one that needs glasses though because when Britt put them on to check out his jacket, the light hit the two rhinestones embedded in each top corner of the frames, making them sparkle. I must have thought they were screws.
“Jesus, Britty, did you wear those glasses today?”
He looked over at me with his eyes magnified and misshapen through the cheap reading glasses’ lenses.
“Uh, they have rhinestones in them!”
He took them off to try to take a better look but his bad eyes couldn’t tell the difference between rhinestones and screws.
“You bought these for me!”
“I know.” I said. “I’m really sorry.”
I looked over his outfit and made a mental note to always try to be home when he leaves for work in the morning. He was wearing an old sweat stained baseball cap, a shrunken cropped jacket, an overly long t-shirt, rhinestone reading glasses, Ben Davis jeans with holes in the knees and running shoes because his plantar fasciitis had been acting up.
I swear Britt always tries to be his best self out in the world and really tries to dress presentably and usually does a great job of it, but that day just wasn’t his day and I take full responsibility for it.