Crazy Pants, Good Jeans!

Sunde White illustrates her essay about how all women's pants look crazy

Welp, no jeans for me!

Has anyone else had a problem finding semi normal jeans lately? Like, I totally get it, I’m a lady in my forties so I guess I’m super uncool now that I just want some jeans with waists that don’t  come up to my under boobs.  I want pants that don’t make my butt appear three times longer than it actually is.  I don’t want to wear super tight skinny jeans that are high waisted.  You guys, they make it look like I’m wearing diapers!  I have big calves and wide feet, I can’t even get my feet through the leg holes of skinny jeans!

I already hear what you’re saying, “Oh Sunde, just get some wide leg, high waisted wide legged capris!”  Uh, no thanks beautiful twenty year old, I know you can wear any old style but I just need normal, mid waisted, flex fabric jeans that keep me snug and all held together and I want them to go down to my shoes, I don’t want them two inches above my ankles.

All my jeans wore out at the same time recently and I became mildly panicked about it.  Where can I get some normal jeans??? Online there were Capri  Flairs, High waisted wide leg flare capris, Skinny jeans, High Waisted Skinny Jeans, high waisted boyfriend jeans etc etc.  I took a trip down to the only GAP left in the city and it was the same thing except this time I got to actually see in real life how bad they all looked on me.  Where could I get some pants from the before times??

I’m not wearing these


Suddenly my GenX skateboard roots came rolling back to me…Dickies!!  I figured they would at least just have some carpenter pants that cover my shoes and maybe I’d just get a couple of colors and call it a day and be like, “Sorry husband,  I only wear carpenter pants now.” Shrug.

But when I went to their website it was like I had entered actual denim heaven.  The website was like a warm hug, embracing me with all the soothing words I’ve been searching for the past few years…Boot Cut! Mid Waist! Slacks! Straight Leg! Dark Denim! Carpenter Jeans! Overalls! Skateboard Pants! Flex Denim!

Just my style!

I immediately ordered a sampler of some Indigo Carpenter Jeans, Women’s Perfect Shape Denim Bootcut and some Navy Relaxed Fit Cotton Pants.  I awaited my Dickies delivery breathlessly, trying to keep my emotions in check.  “Don’t get too excited Sunde.”  I told myself.  “They might not even fit your body type.”

The day finally came when a heavy plastic bag stamped with a large Dickies logo arrived.  I tried them on right away, bracing myself for disappointment.  But they slipped on easily and the fit perfectly!  I did have to get hemmed but that’s no big thing!  I immediately ordered three more pairs.  Thank you Dickies!!

Here’s the website if anyone needs some not weird pants.