The Importance of Shredded Lettuce

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I hate lettuce on sandwiches and hamburgers because it is always applied wrong.  When done wrong lettuce is a second thought put on in the rush of burger and sandwich making.  “For the crunch.”  People mumble to themselves as they stick a leaf of limp, veiny,  green, solidified watery vegetable onto the mayonnaise of their bun.  But that’s not true.  There is no crunch if you’re just putting one limp lettuce leaf that then immediately gets steamed when the hot burger is smushed down under it.

“But Sunde,”  I can hear you saying, “I use a big chunk of iceberg lettuce, it stays crunchy.”  To that I answer, gross and also the only use for iceberg lettuce is to cut it into quarters and slather it in chunky homemade blue cheese dressing , with garden sweet cherry tomatoes cut in half, sprinkled with crispy bacon and a few turns of a pepper grinder to top it off.    Furthermore, on a burger or sandwich a chunk of iceberg overpowers the burger and you end up with 25% burger and 75% crunchy organic watery vegetable material.  Lastly, it disallows you from smushing down your burger properly because it resists the pressure of your palm.

The only correct way to enjoy lettuce on your burger or hot toasted sub is shredded.  Period.  When lettuce is shredded it is a crispy airy cloud of texture that does not interfere with the rest of your nourishment vehicle.  It befriends the other ingredients and it will stay crunchy even as parts closest to the hot meat wilt, allowing the juices of the meat to combine with the mayonnaise,  ketchup or any other condiments you apply to your  burger or sub.  After a couple of bites your shredded lettuce has turned into a flavorful, beautiful slaw that continues to add deliciousness and texture to every bite.

I will drive two towns over if I know a restaurant offers shredded lettuce on their burgers or sandwiches and I think you should too.

 

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